I want to start all over, but can't get over things that happened in the past?

Alright bro. It's time. Suck it up. People don't matter, only the ones that matter, you're luckier than most because it's instant. You can sort the wheat from the chaff faster than most. Act weird, be weird do what you want, if you don;t want to be weird then don't. Stand in you power, use your past to construct new realities, not to destruct. Use it. Use it. make it work for you, and love yourself and be proud when you see the smallest change. Picture yourself happy, imagine what you want and feel it in your heart and it will happen. Don't ever spiral again. It's on, you are here, and you will bring change to the world. Trust in yourself, show love to those that don't understand and watch yourself become an amazing person.